The Cost of Walking Away

In every workplace, people come and go however there’s a difference between natural transitions and patterns of abandonment. When individuals withdraw from responsibilities, relationships, or the organisation itself without resolution or accountability they are engaging in abandonment behaviours. While such behaviour may appear personal, it can often reflects deeper issues within the organisation's culture.

What Does "Abandonment" Look Like in the Workplace?

Workplace abandonment can take many forms. It may be a leader emotionally checking out during a crisis, a manager avoiding difficult conversations, or a team member disappearing mid-project. Other examples include mentors silently withdrawing their support or teams isolating a colleague rather than engaging in constructive dialogue. These behaviours may not always be intentional. Often, they are responses to emotional exhaustion, unclear expectations, or cumulative workplace stress. Yet their impact is significant, leading to psychological distress, reduced team trust, and long-term disengagement (Maslach & Leiter, 2016).

Why Do People Abandon Others at Work?

Abandonment is often a symptom of unresolved workplace tensions. Several factors may contribute to this behaviour:

• Avoidant coping mechanisms: Some individuals retreat from challenges as a way to manage emotional discomfort or perceived threats (Holahan et al., 2005).
• Burnout and compassion fatigue: In high-stress environments, detachment may be a coping response to emotional exhaustion (Maslach & Leiter, 2016).
• Low psychological safety: When people do not feel safe to express themselves, they may choose silence or withdrawal (Edmondson, 1999).
• Power dynamics and social control: Withholding engagement or support can be used as a subtle form of control or retribution (Kahn, 1990).

These behaviours are shaped by the larger system and when they become frequent, they signal cultural dysfunction.

Abandonment as a Cultural Signal

Abandonment behaviours do not occur in isolation. If they become normalised, they reveal cultural issues such as:

• Lack of psychological safety, where people fear speaking up or making mistakes (Edmondson, 1999).
• Poor leadership modelling, where managers fail to address problems or support staff (Kahn, 1990).
• Weak systems of accountability, where no one is held responsible for follow-through.
• Fragmented, individualistic cultures, where self-preservation overrides team loyalty.

Such environments lead to instability, high turnover, and emotional disconnection between workers and their organisations.

High-Stakes Contexts: The Military and Emergency Services

In high-stakes professions like the military, emergency services, and law enforcement, abandonment takes on a heightened emotional weight. These settings demand high levels of interdependence, trust, and consistency particularly under pressure. Abandonment in these contexts might include leaders who avoid debriefing after critical incidents, colleagues isolating peers who show vulnerability, or teams lacking emotional closure after traumatic events. Research shows that perceived abandonment by leadership is a strong predictor of moral injury and post-traumatic stress (Litz et al., 2009; Williamson et al., 2020).

First responders and military personnel often operate in cultures that prioritise stoicism and self-reliance, which can discourage help-seeking and make withdrawal a socially accepted, if unhealthy, coping strategy (Haugen et al., 2017). When support systems fail, individuals may disconnect to protect themselves emotionally.

To reduce abandonment in these settings, organisations must invest in structures that promote relational accountability and recovery, such as:

• Post-incident debriefing processes
• Normalising emotional expression
• Leader training in trauma-informed supervision
• Peer support programs

Without these, emotional detachment and silence become substitutes for genuine support, often to the detriment of team morale and long-term well-being.

Shifting the Culture: From Ghosting to Grounding

Addressing abandonment behaviour requires a cultural shift toward connection, accountability, and psychological safety. This involves:

• Transparent and emotionally engaged leadership
• Clear communication of expectations and responsibilities
• Systems that support conflict resolution and feedback
• Collective ownership of relational repair after rupture

When individuals feel psychologically safe and supported, they are more likely to remain engaged — even in times of difficulty or disagreement.

Support Is Available

Whether you’re a frontline worker, a corporate leader, or a team member who’s felt abandoned or perhaps stepped away yourself it’s never too late to repair, reflect, and grow. At the 11th HR Clinic, we work with individuals and organisations who are navigating the emotional toll of high-pressure environments. Our psychologists are experienced in supporting military personnel, emergency responders, leaders, and employees alike in understanding the relational patterns that impact their wellbeing and workplace dynamics.

You don’t have to carry it alone. If you’re ready to explore support, strengthen resilience, or create healthier workplace relationships, reach out to us today. Your healing starts with presence. Check out our locations page to book an appointment or contact us to learn more.

References

Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383. https://doi.org/10.2307/2666999

Hakanen, J. J., Bakker, A. B., & Schaufeli, W. B. (2006). Burnout and work engagement among teachers. Journal of School Psychology, 43(6), 495–513. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jsp.2005.11.001

Haugen, P. T., Evces, M., & Weiss, D. S. (2017). Treating posttraumatic stress disorder in first responders: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 51, 79–94. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2016.10.002

Holahan, C. J., Moos, R. H., Holahan, C. K., Brennan, P. L., & Schutte, K. K. (2005). Stress generation, avoidance coping, and depressive symptoms: A 10-year model. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73(4), 658–666. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.73.4.658

Kahn, W. A. (1990). Psychological conditions of personal engagement and disengagement at work. Academy of Management Journal, 33(4), 692–724. https://doi.org/10.5465/256287

Litz, B. T., Stein, N., Delaney, E., Lebowitz, L., Nash, W. P., Silva, C., & Maguen, S. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(8), 695–706. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2009.07.003

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: Recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103–111. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311

Williamson, V., Murphy, D., & Greenberg, N. (2020). COVID-19 and experiences of moral injury in frontline key workers. Occupational Medicine, 70(5), 317–319. https://doi.org/10.1093/occmed/kqaa052